Sometimes life literally throws you challenges that make you want to give up, due to the annihilation of your values. My profession makes me particularly vulnerable to this, where interactions with little people can truly upset what you believe in. In particular, experiencing children lack of respect for their teachers. I understand children have strange ways of expressing themselves. It was through an incident where a child was relentlessly throwing sand right up to my face was the time that truly made me think what the hell am I doing this job for? I was thinking that this child cannot even listen to stop where the stronger the reprimand the worse the throwing became, picking up more sand and then aiming it higher and higher, and eventually, the sand was in my eyes. Children can be bullies and it is at this time when I feel, “stuff this there is no way this kid can learn anything!”
But it is at these moments we need to go inside ourselves and find why we are so triggered by these behaviours. Yes, I have had my time with domestic violence in the past which was the initial trigger that welled up the tears but digging deeper I realised that it was the sadness I felt for a child that feels that the only way they can interact is through testing boundaries with other humans. I am going to come out of this week feeling grateful for a supporting team at work and for my family to realise that there are many people like this in the world. This little person will not be the only one who challenges my values of respect, trust, and kindness – adults do the same thing but we choose to distance ourselves from toxic humans. I realise that my time with this child is only a blip in their life and the only way for me to teach kindness is to go back to that group of children and just be there, listen, and learn. It is through shared experiences that we develop our resilience and learn from each other.
So thank you little human, you have a lot of carry in your life but you need to realise that there are people who care.